How to make lasting change
Here we are – אחרי החגים – the beginning of a new year. It’s the perfect time to make a change. To choose one thing you’d like to improve in your life. A health habit, a personality trait, an aspect of a relationship or something else.
I love new beginnings and the opportunity they bring for change. We piggyback the new year and allow ourselves a fresh start.
We can begin our new program — like a change in diet, sticking to a reasonable bedtime, or flossing our teeth regularly, or whatever – with energy, commitment and excitement. This time it’s going to be different. This time the change is for real.
And yet – a few weeks later – we often abandon ship and return to our old familiar self.
The question is – why do we sabotage ourselves?
This is obviously a complicated topic, but I’d like to share with you one really helpful answer.
We humans are wired for safety. We need to make sure that we aren’t in physical danger – no saber toothed tigers – and that our basic needs are cared for.
However – that need for safety can sometimes hold us back. Anytime you want to make a change or consider doing something new – even though it isn’t a physical threat – even though this new thing is actually for your own good – your unconscious might perceive the change as a threat to your safety. In an attempt to protect you – your unconscious blocks you from making the change.
You of course are unaware of your unconscious plan to maintain the status quo in pursuit of your safety – you just shy away from the change without really understanding why. Or you start and then lose momentum without understanding that there is self sabotage afoot.
I see self sabotage a lot when I work with people who want to lose weight.
They really, really want to lose weight. But somehow it doesn’t work. They can’t stick to a diet. They can’t lose weight. They get frustrated. They blame themselves.
Here’s the key – often our system/unconscious is just trying to keep us safe. Our system is trying to help us. It’s just misguided.
But we don’t need to fight with ourselves. The fastest way to stop self sabotage is to identify what we are scared of. Then we can release the fear.
Once we release the fear that is holding us back we automatically stop the self sabotage and the change feels effortless.
The next obvious question is – how do we identify and release these fears?
My favorite technique for stopping self sabotage and identifying and releasing fears is EFT/Tapping. You can read more about it here.
EFT is a particularly helpful tool for weight loss. Using EFT we get to the root of the self sabotage and we eliminate it. We also address other underlying emotions, patterns, beliefs that led to your weight gain and that are currently keeping you from successfully shedding the weight.
In a recent study conducted with an EFT for weight loss program, results showed that people who tapped developed more willpower and lost more weight even after they finished the program.
In the spirit of the new year I am collaborating on a new weight loss program. One that combines sound nutritional advice with the benefits of EFT/tapping to eliminate self sabotage and get to the root of the problem.
If you or anyone else you care about is struggling with weight loss – check out a description of the program here.
So here’s to the new year – may it be a year of growth and change!
